This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
