AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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