I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
