I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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