just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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