Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You just made me feel so damn special
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
