i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
