I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Do vagina's smell?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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