She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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