ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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