She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
