you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
