Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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