She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
