what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
