I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
