the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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