Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
