My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
