Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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