we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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