i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
