You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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