wrigley field is MILF paradise
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
