He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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