Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize