Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
