the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
The power of my boobs compel you
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
