did you get engaged???
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
