If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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