Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It's rum buckets o'clock
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
