What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
