There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
