There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
