Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
