I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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