This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
