mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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