Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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