at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
