i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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