i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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