After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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