It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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