U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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