we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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