I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
