Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
