Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
