she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
