By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just pynch a tree in the face
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
