you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
