i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
