god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
