don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
