and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just found a bag of teeth...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
