I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
