i just had sex bonerless
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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