end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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