come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
