went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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