He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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