We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
