I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
