My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
