Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
so let's talk penis.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I booty called her while she was in labor.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize