Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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